Hola Amigas,
Tomorrow, May 15th, would have been my mother's 73rd birthday. I always wondered "why do people celebrate the birthday of a dead person?" I just got it. Really.
What I got is that person lived and was born on that day.
Mami, my mother, lived and had a life. She was born on May 15, 1941, had 48 birthdays, and then she died. I thought "well she's dead. She can't have anymore birthdays." Amigas, was I wrong?!?!
I have to celebrate her birthday. Had she not been born I would not be here. The mere fact that she is in another realm does not negate the fact that she was in this realm for whatever brevity of time. She roamed this earth just like you and I are roaming it presently.
Not celebrating her birthday, or anyone's birthday, is like saying "they never existed" or "dinosaurs never existed".
I believe the pain of not having her physically clouded my ability to see it is her birthday. I always acknowledged but never celebrated.
The irony of my thought is that I do celebrate birthdays in a big way. I celebrate the birthdays of my children, grandchildren, the people around me. Last year, for Papi's 75th, we had a big old party.
I will now celebrate the birthday of my mother and all others.
Tomorrow, May 15th, is my mother's birthday.
WOOOHOOOOO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMI…TE AMO.
With a healing heart…
AmigaMarilyn
Hi Doll,
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful and I hear you loud and clear!
Your message is resonating so loud to me right now because since my father died a few months ago, I've been procrastinating on sending the thank you cards I purchased, off to every one of my friends who attended his funeral, since I still can't believe he is really gone, I guess it's been hard. I just feel like he was too young to go or that he had a few more good years left in him, so why him?...
But what your message has made me realize is that he lived a full life and enjoyed it to the fullest by every and any means necessary. And that I can celebrate him in every way possible now that he is gone, for starters I need to send the cards and move on from there.
Also being that his birthday is right around the corner, your post has help me see the bright side of things and to realize I need to be joyous in my memories of him and be proud of being his daughter, along with being grateful that I had him in my life for the years we knew one another.
I also would like to make a few suggestions on how you can celebrate and honor your mom on her day or even suggest your celebration become a tradition. My suggestion can honor anyone we have lost in a very special way.
So here is a way to positively nurture family history – and create a space for honoring those who have touched us and are no longer with us. I’m hoping to keep the memories alive and the pain of the loss in a quiet space that keeps us whole and healing.
My idea is as follows: Ask friends and family for suggestions on how to honor them or how they remember, then compile a list and each year do something different or do a few of the things on the list the week of their death. Finding different ways or reasons to celebrate our love ones would make us feel so so elated!
Here are 23 ways to honor loved ones who have passed away:
1. Write a poem in honor of the loved one.
2. Play their favorite music/songs.
3. Record family members sharing favorite stories or memories of the person.
4. Decorate the loved one’s headstone.
5. Meet at the gravesite at a designated time, tell family stories, release balloons, and then go celebrate the person’s life.
6. Moment of silence.
7. Light a candle and tell the loved one the things they have missed over the year.
8. Go out to dinner and toast the legacy that has been left.
9. Cook the loved one’s favorite foods.
10. Have a good cry.
11. Do a community service project as a family.
12. Have a birthday cake and celebrate the years the person was alive and with us.
13. Participate in an activity we used to do together.
14. Write messages, attach to a balloon filled with helium, and then set the message/balloons free.
15. Wear a piece of jewelry that belonged to the loved one.
16. Call other loved ones to talk about the deceased person. Talk about the deceased person’s influence on your life.
17. Make a family quilt – from clothing of the loved one.
18. Create a scrapbook.
19. Make a donation in honor of the deceased loved one.
20. Take a day off from work/school to rest and think about the loved one.
21. Have a movie marathon – showing your deceased loved one’s favorite movies.
22. Plant a tree or a garden.
23. Write a letter to your loved one – and if appropriate, have the letter published.
Hi Mama, It's me Desiree Montanez, for some reason I couldn't figure out a way to publish as me cause I'm not connected to any of the links below so my best bet was anonymously. LOL. Smooches love you mentor...
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