Saying "I'm Sorry"

Hola Amigas/os,

I have found it hard to apologize when I am embarrassed by my actions or words.  If I am joking in conversation and say something to take the conversation, and joke, to a more serious level and am called out on it I instantly become embarrassed and start to defend what I said.  When, in reality, if I just stop for a minute, and immediately apologize then my ego is not bruised and neither is the other person's.

I also find apologizing, or not, is all about ego.

The reason I cannot and will not apologize (Sam I Am) is because my ego is or can be bruised (it is redundant but it is the truth).

What happens next…the relationship becomes frail, uncomfortable, undone.  If I do not address the pink elephant in the room it will stay there occupying precious space.  The space needed to have the conversation I have talked about on many other occasions.  The space to take responsibility for my actions and say "I'm sorry" and to value my relationships.

I do it with my daughter.  I take responsibility by apologizing, explaining to her what happened, wether I was right or wrong.  A space is then created when she and I can have honest communication.  It is very challenging with a 6 year old.  It can be just as challenging with a 76 year old, my father.  Age does not matter when it comes to taking responsibility for the relationship and myself.

Apologizing allows me to see I have hurt another person.  There is no right or wrong when someone is hurt.  Even if I am pointing out the truth of a situation I do not agree with, if the person is offended, I apologize.  So my ego says "you're right in telling the truth" but by offending someone my ego deflates (no punt, I mean pun intended), I save a bond, and come back to earth feeling lighter.

All it takes to do it consistently is practice, practice, practice.  Having a 6 year old helps me with the practice.

Practice on your self.  When you think an unkind thought of yourself or someone else mentally take responsibility, apologize, smile and keep it moving.

With Love and an apology if I have ever offended you,

AlwaysAmiga Marilyn

What are you afraid of…What's the worse that can happen???

Hola Amigas/os,

A new year is about to begin and we are faced with the life long adage…What are we doing differently in the new year?!?!?!

My last post was about letting go.  What happens when I let go, what am I inviting in, what am I opening myself up to…All of these are frightening thoughts and conjure all types of feelings.  The main feeling evoked is fear.  That horrendous feeling that disables my very being, it snatches my legs from under me and makes me fall flat on my face (or on my butt), it wakes me from the most peaceful sleep, it doesn't allow me to sleep, it immobilizes me, it makes me sick to my stomach…literally.

What do I do about that?!?!?  Do I stop loving, living, giving?!?!?  Do I crawl under a rock never to expose myself to love, life, happiness, bliss, magic, good health, sharing, caring…?!?!?

NO WAY!!!

I get up and do the exact opposite.  I love, live, give, enjoy life.  Wherever and whoever it comes from.  My Amigas/os, my children, my parents, la familia (who can be a pain in the booty, or not), the guy on the corner who is missing a leg and begs for money to smoke crack and smiles at me whenever he sees me,  from the sun, the light, the water, from the earth, the food I eat, from the haters who keep me in check about who I am being or not being, for ME!!!

What can happen...All that can happen is I will learn something new.  Whatever it is…pain, bliss, magic, happiness, intellect, WHATEVER!!!

What is something you can teach me right now, what can I learn from you right now…

How old am I anyway…I'm not getting any younger and life happens with or without me...

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND…

A HAPPY NEW YOU…ALWAYS...

EVERYDAY.

LOVE,

AmigaMarilyn


Listen to these or some of your favorites…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSRsg79itN4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCW9Hey6IVY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uS7vpGkro3U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLhIMcV-udo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haejyhm6pXU

Forgiveness

HolaAmigas/os,

I know, I know, I have been out of communication.  I have been strategizing how to get AlwaysAmigas' website together…

But for now…

I have been thinking about this for a while…

I am guessing everyone has been jilted by love.  Be it by an Amiga/o, sister/brother, mother/father, whoever.  We have all been hurt by another person at least once in our lifetime.

My question is why do people hold on to that pain?  The pain that consumes the body, literally.  It turns into cancer and physical pains.  Not to mention what it does emotionally.  Emotional bankruptcy is what it does.  Grouchiness, mood swings, depression, misery, to name a few.  UGHHHH those are some ugly words.

Let it go!!!

"Tis better to have loved and lost: Than never to have loved at all"

Have a conversation with the person if possible.  If not talk to an Amiga/o.

Let it out.  I have written about secrets.  Jilted by love and not talking about it is a dirty little secret debilitating the soul and spirit.

And, the most important step, forgive yourself for holding on to that misery for so long, for blaming yourself, for not giving love a viable place to start and grow.

If you can, forgive the person.  We are all mistake making humans!!!

Taking responsibility for your life and how you live it is the outcome of this exercise.  Do it all the time.  God knows I have to do it every minute of everyday.  Especially when I am behind the steering wheel, ADM.

Breathe, smile, and keep it moving.  Imagine the thrill of hope...

Jolt yourself back into life!!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

THANK YOU

LOVE ALWAYS,

AmigaMarilyn


I found this story after I wrote this post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/16/watch-breakthrough-here-r_n_698819.html

Support

HolaAmigas,

Imagine what your business would look like if we supported each other all the way everyday?!?!

That is one of the most prominent things I would like to accomplish with this blog and later with my website.

For right now let us support an Amiga in her launch.

Please visit https://www.facebook.com/makemeovernyc?ref=hl

Leave a message, like the page, and share it.

Gracias

AmigaMarilyn

Timing Is Everything

HolaAmigas,

I am soooo pissed off.  Yes, Amigas, I get mad!!!  I do not get how and why Amigas/os think their time is more important than mine.

When someone is late to meet me, more than 20 minutes is late, I feel so disrespected.  It says "my time is more important than yours, you can wait."  NOOOOOOO.

I am not perfect and always on time but if I am meeting someone and am delayed I make a phone call.  If it is a group I will send a text message.  I understand technology but personal communication is the best option.

Also, a formal apology is in order if you are late.  A formal apology is not done on a text.  A formal apology is face to face contact or, at the very least, a phone call.

My son is late to every single function he is invited to.  One time he was 3 hours late to his own birthday dinner.  I was enraged.  Everyone ate, laughed, and enjoyed the evening.  Then he made his grand entrance.  NOOOOOOOO.  That is unacceptable.  Now I invite him, at least, 2 hours before the function, which is ridiculous.

Everyone's time is precious be it 5 minutes or 3 hours.  For me it is all about integrity.  If I tell you I am going to be there at 3:00 and get there at 3:05 I am late.  Therefore, I am a liar.  I understand there are unforeseen circumstances that may hold me back but I am late and have to take responsibility for the lack of respect I have for your time.  Period.  No if, ands, or buts, about it.

Check out this article at Huffington Post:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/07/psychology-lateness_n_4229057.html

Ultimately it is about you…

AmigaMarilyn

Sharing is Caring

HolaAmigas,

Sharing is caring is part of the fundamentals.  We all have something to share.  Be it material, spiritual, physical, or mental, we all have something someone else needs at one point or another.

With that being said, why do Amigas compete against each other?  Competition is good.  It keeps us on point but when competition turns into envy it's moldy green.  It rots from the inside out and it is visible.  It becomes a test of who I am being to myself and to the Amiga.  That feeling does not sit well.

Want what you have.  Live and let live.  Be happy for what others have.  

One example, I am someone who speaks my mind (to a fault!!!).  I can not be angry at someone for getting something I say I want.  If you get it first then good for you.  If you go for it and I don't well good for you.

Another example, I do not own a beach house yet but I am fortunate, graced, and blessed to know many Amigas/os who do own beach houses and are more than willing to share.

I am eternally grateful to all who share with me, who allow me into their personal space with no reservations, who share with no expectations.

SHARING IS CARING...IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING.

Try it…I dare you.

AmigaMarilyn

Good Health

HolaAmigas,

So summer is finally here!!!

WoooooHoooooo

I am sure everyone has been trying to get beach ready since January.  The operative word in that sentence is "trying".  Yes I have been "trying".  I go to the gym...once in a week.  I don't go for  two weeks.  I go walking once in another week.  Don't go for 3 weeks…and so on.  That is my workout regimen.

I am pretty active.  Having a six year old daughter, a 4 year old grandson (soon to be 5), and a 3 month old grandson, does not allow me to be sedentary.  And still I am overweight.

So this is not so much about weight but health.

I recently went to the doctor for a full physical.  I have borderline cholesterol (it has been like that for more than 10 years now), borderline (high) blood pressure, my thyroid level is low (it can make you feel tired and weak and raise your cholesterol level), and I am anemic (also causing fatigue).  My doctor sent me to the cardiologist STAT.

I was very alarmed to hear all of this news since my mother (Mami) died of heart disease, my father (Papi) had a triple bypass 12 years ago, and both had (Papi lives with) diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and congestive heart failure .    

Immediately I thought of all the loads of medication Mami took and Papi carries around.  In my head I  was like "oh haellll noooo, I am not taking all that crap!!!)

The cardiologist ordered an electrocardiogram (EKG) to be done STAT.  I was freaking out.  I got flashbacks of when I was Mami's interpreter at the clinic and the countless tests the doctors performed.  And again I was like "ohhhhh haellllll nooooooo, I am not doing this crap!!!"

After the EKG the cardiologist called me into his office.  I guess he read the look on my face which said "ohhhhh haellll no, I am not doing any of this crap."  He told me exactly what I was thinking.  He was not going to prescribe a load of medication, most of my ailments are hereditary, he prescribed a low level hormone for my thyroid, and in three months I will be tested again.  My EKG showed I have a strong heart.

WHEWWWW, what a relief.  I am so happy I did not get an overzealous doctor who was waiting for me with his prescription pad in his hand.  Had that happened I would have got a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. opinion until I found the one who said what he told me.

I am not a fast food, a sugar and sweets, or greasy food person.  I do love my rice, pasta, bread, all the carbs that turn into sugar in the body.

I was listening to a radio show (WBLS 107.5 NYC) where a doctor, promoting his health detox regimen, said "God would not give us hereditary illnesses."  He went on to say that "we inherit our eating habits therefore inheriting the disease that come along with those habits."

I then listened to another radio program where a woman said (I did not catch the name of the program or the woman) "lack of information and health education, especially amongst Latinos, Blacks, and the poor,  lead to many diseases that can be avoided."

I know this is a subject that is talked about often.  But when are we, us, you and I going to act on the issue.

The cardiologist also told me I had to make major changes to my eating and exercise habits.

I am taking a stand for healthy Amigas/os.  We have to do this for the betterment of our lives, our children's lives, and so on…

With a healthy heart,

AmigaMarilyn